2019 Self Care Advent Calendar
A few months ago, I asked you what you would like more posts on, and the phrase “self care” came up repeatedly.
I admitted that this wasn’t necessarily something I was well-versed at, but I promised you I would be willing to give it a shot. My self care journey has been a real, emotional exploration of the last several months to some of my earliest memories. It hasn’t been the easiest, but it has been incredibly rewarding.
When I came up with the idea for this project, I was so excited because I knew it was a somewhat unique (but relevant!) concept, but I also felt a little — okay, a LOT — overwhelmed by the amount of thought, design, organization, and commitment this would require.
Still feeling the latter part for sure, but this is me trying to squash those perfectionist tendencies and put something creative and hopefully helpful into the universe!
I’ll be updating this post daily as well as sharing to instagram, so whichever is easiest for you, I’ll be there.
Happy Holidays!
HAPPY DECEMBER, BABEEEES! 🎅🏼
It’s the first day of the #NSSselfcareadventcalendar (!!!!!!!), and I’m hitting you with an easy one because it’s Sunday and we’re just going to ease into this thing, alright?
Yes, Thanksgiving is *technically* over, but we can extend the spirit of gratitude into the holiday season!
Close your eyes and think of 5 people whose presence you’re grateful for in your life and why.
According to Harvard Medical School, “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
See? It’s science! 🤓
And those all sound like pretty good benefits to me!
Tag someone you’re grateful for in the comments to give them the warm fuzzies! 🥰✨
Getting back into the swing of things the Monday after a holiday weekend can be tough! Today’s mission: put on some fun music and dance yourself awake! 🔊🎶💃☀️
As it is the queen of pop’s birthday, might I suggest Britney Spears?
Bonus points if you post the video to your instagram stories and tag me in it! (Duh, I will share!)
Tag your favorite dancing partner in the comments! 👯♀️
For today’s self care tip, I recruited the only person around here who gets paid to put up with my crap — my therapist, Andy 🤣
He says:
“I’m a huge smells person. It lights up a part of our brain that takes us out of our prefrontal cortex (where we typically get stuck when we’re worrying and mulling things over too far!). Feeling stressed? Try taking a mindful walk through a Christmas tree farm. Or light a Christmas candle while listening to calming holiday music.”
You can learn more about Andy at www.hoperidgecounseling.com
Do you have a fave Christmas candle? Mine is currently Through the Woods by Target’s Opalhouse line 🎄😍
Alright, SMELL YA LATER! 👃
You know that feeling you get when someone throws a really good compliment your way? No, I’m not talking about panic (BUT I CAN RELATE LOL). Put that good juju out there and dole out a delicious compliment to a friend, a coworker, or even a complete stranger.
Here are a few non-appearance based compliments:
💥 “You’re such a good listener."
💥 “Wow! You’re really good at staying hydrated!” (Seriously — why is it so hard??)
💥 "I always have so much fun with you!”
💥 “You’re great at making people feel instantly comfortable. I love that I can always be myself around you.”
💥 “I bet you had a really cool Myspace profile back in the day. I can just tell.”
That’s it! Go make someone’s day!
I know this feels weird and probably seems a little hippy dippy, but trust me on this one! Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and throw out your best “DAAAANG GIRL/BOY!” And then think of 5 things you love about yourself. Even if you struggle to believe it, telling yourself these kinds of things bears amazing fruit!
I do a mantra every single morning (you’ll learn more about that in a future post!), and in it, I tell myself one thing I love about my body. Even if I don’t feel it all the way, telling myself I love my legs or booty helps me not only tolerate those parts of myself more, it helps me appreciate them.
What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
OK, I’LL START!
1. I’m a great carpool karaoke companion.
2. I’m pretty good at encouraging other people.
3. I have a really big heart for rescue animals.
4. I have good eyebrows.
5. Despite everyone else’s efforts, I somehow manage to keep our house clean(ish??!).
Now, it’s your turn! What do you love about yourself?
If you know me, you know I’m kind of obsessed with my neighbors. But you wouldn’t believe how many people don’t know their neighbors!
If that’s the case for you, this is a great time to make a new friend! Bake them a pie. Invite them to the Ugly Sweater Party you’re hosting. Leave a bottle of wine on their doorstep with a note saying “hi!” 👋
We have an inside joke with our neighbors across the street where we leave food in each other’s mailboxes (they started it!!). I know this sounds weird AF, and I definitely don’t recommend this during the warmer months. Especially if it’s deviled eggs. Luckily we caught that one pretty quick LOL. But it’s great to have good people nearby in case you:
- Go shopping and impulsively end up bringing home a stray dog.
- Work full time and need help potty training aforementioned stray dog.
- Want someone to watch football with your husband so you can go shopping for more dogs.
- Need a random ingredient for a recipe and don’t have time to go to the store.
- Want someone to drink spiked seltzers and play video games with on the weekends.
A sense of community is so important, and you never know when you (or they) might need a helping hand. So put yourself out there! I bet you’ll be glad you did ❤️
Do you know your neighbors?
You know that thing you’ve been putting off and meaning to do for FOREVER? Maybe it’s cleaning out your kitchen junk drawer. Maybe it’s picking up your dry cleaning from over a month ago. Maybe it’s finally donating the clothes that have been riding around your trunk in trash bags for the last few weeks. Do it and free up your mental energy to think about better things, liiiiiike:
-televised figure skating competitions
-your friends with December birthdays *HINT HINT HELLOOOOOO* 🥳
-watching Christmas Vacation for the 8 millionth time
-what you’re gonna buy yourself for Christmas
-perfecting your hot chocolate recipe
-rescuing more dogs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What do you keep putting off? Tell me so I can badger you to GET 👏 IT 👏 DONE 👏 HONEY 👏
We’ll all feel better, honestly 😉
Sunday is a great day to reset. Try reciting a mantra to get yourself focused for this next week!
Practicing a daily mantra sets the tone for my day. Sometimes my goals are more physically oriented (doing laundry, dropping off the recycling, going to the grocery store), and sometimes they’re more emotionally focused (don’t force productivity, breathe through my anxiety, not obsess over my all of a sudden acne-prone skin — ARGH).
I’ve been doing this for a few months and have really seen positive results from it. If I rush out of bed in the morning and forget to do it, I find myself feeling a little scattered and uncentered and will literally stop what I’m doing to take 2 minutes to go through it.
We all have a million things going on and a million more distractions, but having just one or two things to focus on as we move throughout our day makes it a little easier to stay on track and accomplish whatever we set out to do.
Swipe for the mantra I do every morning before I get out of the bed, grab my phone, or do anything. It’s from @thepouf and I really love her account, so you should all give her a follow!
Do you practice a daily mantra? What is it?
Take a few minutes today to reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while and say hello 👋 Maybe it’s a friend from college, a former roommate, or an old neighbor? Maybe it’s a grandparent or other relative?
We use our phones for literally everything but talking on the phone. And maybe you hate doing it, but you never know who could really benefit from hearing your voice. Take a moment during your lunch break, your kids’ nap time, your drive home from work, or any time you can fit in a quick call and check in with someone.
It’ll be good for you!
Alexa, play “Call Me” by Blondie ☎️🎶
Who are you calling today?
I discovered Serena Kerrigan through Refinery29, and I’m so glad I did because she is the total package — brains, beauty, and biiiiig, big ⚾️🏀🏈🎾⚽️
HA!
Serena is known as the Queen of Confidence. And as a 30-something going through a career change/rebirth/metamorphosis a la Hilary Duff, I feel like I (and all of us, really) should be taking notes.
But even the Queen of Confidence needs to recharge during the most wonderful time of the year! ⚡️
So how does she do it?
Serena says, “I love curling up in bed, lighting Jo Malone candles, and reading a book!”
Currently, she’s reading: “Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest your Desires” by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
Ummm, I like the sound of that! #ADDTOCART
Disconnecting from the outside world can be a struggle, but I always feel better afterwards. Something to consider when you’re feeling the stress of the season 😬
You can see more from Serena on her widely popular IGTV series “Ask Serena” on the Refinery29 Instagram page. And be sure to give her a follow!
Thank you, Serena, for contributing to the Self Care Advent Calendar and for being the gutsy, talented, megababe that you are!
This is a fun one! The word “boundary” often has a negative connotation, likely due to the people who have no intention of respecting them. But boundaries are your friend!
Set a boundary — big or small — for the holiday season (and beyond, if you’re feeling up to it!) and commit to sticking to it!
- Maybe it’s distancing yourself from a relationship that doesn’t really work for you anymore.
- Maybe it’s not discussing your personal life with your coworkers.
- Maybe it’s not giving into pressure to spend more than you’re comfortable with on Christmas gifts.
- Maybe it’s with your boss who constantly guilts you into working overtime.
- Maybe it’s with yourself to stop negative self talk.
Set a boundary and stick to it.
You can do it, and you’ll be better for it!
Would love to hear what boundaries you’re setting if you’re feeling bold enough to share…
Also, for a great exercise in boundary setting, @theholisticpsychologist (one of my favorite accounts to follow!) has created this amazing 3 minute video that I highly, highly recommend!
Think back on your favorite childhood holiday memory. Then recreate it! Or maybe it’s time to make your own traditions!
You could…
🎄 have a cookie decorating party!
🎅🏼 wear ugly sweaters and go Christmas caroling!
🎄 go ice skating!
🎅🏼 pack meals at the food bank!
🎄 have a marathon of your favorite holiday movies!
🎅🏼 check out some fun Christmas lights!
🎄 have a progressive holiday dinner with your neighbors!
🎅🏼 visit a holiday-themed pop up bar!
🎄 drive around and hand out blankets to the homeless!
🎅🏼 watch your local ballet perform “The Nutcracker”!
If you can’t do it today, make plans to do something fun and festive this weekend or before Christmas!
Do you have a favorite Christmas time activity?
Friday the 13th is a day typically wrought with stressful mishaps 😬😬😬 but not for you! Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought today, try flipping it to the positive.
Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, think about all of the things that could go RIGHT.
What’s going right for you today? 🧠✨
Frozen is back, and SO AM I.
But enough about me 😉
Clutter can get out of control, especially this time of year. And with impending gifts, it can become a real issue!
Take a moment to clear out a closet, your car, a drawer, your garage — whatever is driving you crazy — and donate your unwanted items to someone who could use them! Make Marie Kondo proud! And if you need a little extra help, you can find tips at typing “declutter” in the search bar!
PS, if you’re getting rid of old athletic shoes, you can donate them (any brand!) to a Nike store or outlet, and they will recycle them into gym mats! 🤯
What are you clearing out today? Do you know of any other recycling programs for unwanted items?
You know that project or thing that seems really daunting? It might not even be that difficult, but getting yourself moving in that direction is just HARD for some reason?
Maybe it’s writing a book or starting a blog. Maybe it’s prepping your guest room for holiday visitors. Maybe it’s reconciling with a friend. Maybe it’s working on a business plan so you can finally go out on your own. Maybe it’s resurfacing your kitchen cabinets. Maybe it’s messaging that one person you know can help you with that one thing.
Don’t do anything that’s going to throw a wrench in spending time with the people you love or compound holiday stress (i.e. why I’m holding off on the kitchen renos!). But block out some time to just get started.
Let today be the day you start putting feelers out. Let today be the day that you move yourself an inch towards your goal.
Maybe you won’t get all the way there, but it’ll feel good to get moving in the right direction!
Newton’s First Law says: An object at rest stays at rest.
And my cute internet friend @thealisonshow says, “Insight is cute, but action is drop dead gorgeous.”
SPRING INTO ACTION, MY SEXY FRIENDS!
Happy Sunday!
I’m gonna be honest, I’m having a hard time taking care of myself today, let alone anyone else. I’ve spent the past weekend in a bit of a downward existential shame spiral (my unfortunate norm for this time of year), and it’s been exhausting. And my freaking eye is driving me nuts. Head to instagram stories if you want to be grossed out LOL.
If you’re going through it and feeling the weight of the world today/this season, hang in there. It won’t stick around forever.
And if you’re on the brighter side of things, try to find some time this week to pay it forward to someone who could use it.
SPOILER ALERT:
You don’t have to try too hard. I think most of us could use a little extra love these days.
Buy coffee for the person in line behind you. Babysit for parents who could desperately use a date night. Leave a generous tip. Pay off the lunch debts for kids at a nearby school. Clean up a neighborhood playground. Offer to roll out an older neighbor’s trash can. There are a million little ways to extend kindness to those around you.
Swipe for a little holiday cheer ;)
Now it’s your turn!
Do you have a favorite way to pay it forward?
For today’s advent, I hit up our go-to gal, Rebecca Walker, LMFT!
She says:
“Go ahead and sing those Christmas songs! Turns out that singing reduces the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It also helps loosen up the muscles around the face and neck, not to mention who doesn’t love a rip-roaring version of “All I Want for Christmas is You”? Can’t sing? Then just make a “joyful noise!” 🎶
You can see more from Rebecca at @rebeccawalkertherapy and her website!
What’s your favorite Christmas song?
PS will one of you tag me in a video of you belting something out today please please PLEEEEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😂
Smiling (even when you don’t feel like it) can actually make you feel happier! Google it! Try smiling at strangers and just being a little kinder than necessary today. We can surely all use it 😁
The holidays are a joyous time, but for some, this time of year can amplify some already raw emotions. Reach out to a friend, family member, or coworker who’s experienced some sort of loss (a loved one, a pet, a job, etc) or hardship and let them know you’re thinking about them. While we can’t fix someone else’s problems, our presence can be a present during a difficult time. Taking a few extra moments to tend to the ones you love will help tend to you, too.
Also, to every single one of you who commented on yesterday’s post or messaged me after I dumped my guts out —
I definitely didn’t expect that response, and it really gave me a sense of peace and comfort that I haven’t felt for a very long time, so a very sincere thank you ❤️
Alright, y’all. Go love on some people!
If you’re getting a new coat for Christmas, you might have one or two you’ll no longer need. Or maybe you have some that your kids have outgrown. Pass them along to someone who could use them! If you don’t have any, you can buy one to donate. Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, see if any friends, neighbors, coworkers, clients, family members, etc have coats they want to get rid of, and collect them to take to a donation site!
Here are a few drop off locations:
Burlington (accepting coats through Jan 20th!)
J. Crew (accepting coats through Dec 26th!)
YMCA (not sure if this is a national effort, so check with your location!)
✨ BONUS! ✨
Some places even give you a discount when you donate items!
Go to onewarmcoat.org/donatecoats to find a drop off location near you and give the gift of warmth this holiday season ❤️
Go ice skating or do something fun and festive! Living in Nashville, there are so many things to see and do this time of year, and most of them end December 31st 😬 You better believe I’m cramming in as many holiday activities as I can into these next 10 days! I’m thinking Glow, the Miracle pop up @ Noelle, the rooftop at The Bobby, "A Christmas Story” themed pop up at Walden…
I’ll put a link in my bio of things to check out if you live here or are visiting for the holidays!
If you’re a busy bee and reading this thinking, “I don’t have time for all of that!” — then please carve out time to do something fun that you’ve been wanting to do this season, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. Take yourself out to the coffeeshop that makes the over the top hot chocolate. Call a family member and reminisce about past holiday memories. Go to a karaoke bar and sing your best Little Drummer Boy (complete with Dwight Schrute vocal percussion effects) and then come home and snuggle your cat. Pop in a Christmas movie and wrap gifts and turn them into mini masterpieces you want to instead of just throwing them in a bag (unless you’re team gift bag, in which case no judgment!).
I know the to do list is piling up. At this point, I feel like I have a pile up of to do lists 😂
But I think we get so caught up in wanting things to be just so and trying to creating this whole moment that we end up missing out on the magic of the season.
Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything…
Ha!
What fun will you get into today?!
As it is the traditional day of rest (unless you’re in the service industry [in which case — check on those friends because WOOF]), make time today to do whatever it is that will give you peace.
Maybe it’s letting yourself settle in on the couch and watch Christmas movies.
Maybe it’s prepping for your Christmas celebration so you can relax day-of.
Maybe it’s taking a fitness class to decompress.
Maybe it’s going to Starbucks by yourself and drinking a hot beverage in the car in complete silence so you don’t have to hear your kids screaming for 6 whole minutes.
Maybe it’s taking a moment to practice deep belly breathing.
Maybe it’s painting or playing guitar or doing something completely unrelated to anything you have going on right now, but you just need something else to focus on!
Find time today to do whatever it is you need to do to find peace and comfort in this season, even if it’s just for a few moments.
What will you do to find a little peace today?
As it is the traditional day of rest (unless you’re in the service industry [in which case — check on those friends because WOOF]), make time today to do whatever it is that will give you peace.
Maybe it’s letting yourself settle in on the couch and watch Christmas movies.
Maybe it’s prepping for your Christmas celebration so you can relax day-of.
Maybe it’s taking a fitness class to decompress.
Maybe it’s going to Starbucks by yourself and drinking a hot beverage in the car in complete silence so you don’t have to hear your kids screaming for 6 whole minutes.
Maybe it’s taking a moment to practice deep belly breathing.
Maybe it’s painting or playing guitar or doing something completely unrelated to anything you have going on right now, but you just need something else to focus on!
Find time today to do whatever it is you need to do to find peace and comfort in this season, even if it’s just for a few moments.
What will you do to find a little peace today?
Whether you’re excited Christmas is here or excited it’s almost over with, you’re getting you’re what you want 😂🎄🥳🎅🏼🎉
Truthfully, I’m a little bit of both!
I hope joy and love meet you in the most unexpected places this season.
I hope you find so many reasons to celebrate you don’t know what to do with yourself.
I hope you don’t feel the pressure to feel or be a certain way.
I hope you find yourself surrounded by people who love you just as you perfectly are.
And I hope you’ve enjoyed the past 24 days as much as I have. It’s a gift to connect with you all here, and I don’t take it for granted ❤️
Merry Christmas Eve, friends! Big big love to all of you!