In Defense of Jessica from “Love is Blind”
This might go without saying, but “Love is Blind” isn’t the kind of show I typically watch. Last summer, my sister-in-law roped me into half a season of Love Island Season 4 — which was still about 27 episodes btw — and I’m pretty sure I only stuck around for the hot bodies and easy to misinterpret accents. Side note: is everyone on these shows a personal trainer? And I’ve never watched “The Bachelor” other than Jojo’s season, and while she and Jordan seem very happy together, I STILL feel for Luke. But I was playing caregiver for my 19 year old cousin who had just had his wisdom teeth removed, and after forcing him to watch a few episodes of Navarro’s finest (seriously, if you haven’t watched “Cheer” yet, what are you even doing with your life?), I relinquished the remote and found him fumbling with his phone while the first episode of “Love is Blind” played in the background. I’d seen the preview pop up a time or two when I was on Netflix’s landing page, and I’d never really paid attention to it. But here I was, all of a sudden IN IT.
I probably annoyed him with my incessant questions as I was half-watching, half-washing the myriad of dirty bowls of ice cream, apple sauce, and other soft food remnants that were cluttering my kitchen counter.
“Wait — who are these people?”
*Insert mumbling teenager on Percocet*
“And what is the premise?”
*Insert more mumbling by teenager on Percocet*
“Wait, so…WHAT?”
Eventually his mom came to collect him, and a few days later when I found myself posted up on the couch after yet ANOTHER wreck that was not my fault, I decided to circle back and get caught up in time for the finale set to air a few days later. I felt like trash, so I rationalized that surely I’d earned myself some trash TV time!
I watched all of the available episodes. And a few days later, I endured the emotional rollercoaster of a finale. And I’m going to make an unpopular statement that you might not agree with, but I’m hoping you’ll stick with me until the end as I prove my point:
Jessica gets a bad rap, and everyone needs to give her a damn break.
From what I’ve gathered, storylines and her character might have been misrepresented (which I feel is the typical grievance of anyone who voluntarily signs themselves up for a reality show, but yeah…). Apparently there was a lot left on the cutting room floor. And she’s received so much backlash that she had her Instagram comments turned off for a while because, well, we all know people tend to possess a certain boldness on the internet that they don’t often assume IRL.
Maybe it’s because I’m the same age as she was when she filmed the show. Maybe it’s because of the way her eyes light up and get really wide when she’s excited reminds me of one of my best friends. Maybe it’s because I love an underdog. Maybe it’s because I love her dog. But I’m here to campaign for Jessica because honestly, she deserves it and I have way too much time on my hands.
SO LET’S DO THIS.
*WARNING*
Major spoilers ahead, so turn back now or don’t @ me
First of all, I know Jessica’s type well: Early to mid 30s. Smart as hell. Motivated. Career-oriented. Conventionally attractive. SINGLE. I feel like half of my friend group is comprised of people married with kids, and the other half are women who fit this type.
And no, I don’t know why they’re single. I try not to lament this fact with them because I’m told that’s a whole different kind of infuriating. No single person wants their married friends telling them they can’t believe they aren’t drowning in marital bliss. Someone to put your cold feet on! Endless Sex! Someone to kill the spiders for you! I wouldn’t appreciate my thin friends telling me they don’t understand why I’m not seeing results in the gym while stuffing their face with Oreos. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME.
Jessica, an all around catch as far as I’m concerned, signed herself up for Netflix and the Lacheys’ (?????) dating “experiment” after her well-meaning friends (I’m assuming) convinced her it would be fun and they were probably all “Why not just give it a shot! It’s Netflix! How bad could it be?!” (Ummm have you seen “A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby” because WOOF)
They assemble this group of people. They take their cell phones away. They put them in a chamber (which is apparently just a soundstage in Atlanta) full of strangers of the same sex. Their only interaction with the opposite sex is this “pod” that was clearly sponsored by West Elm or something (I’m on their mailing list), and they can hear but not see each other. Okay, at this point, every single one of you would’ve absolutely lost your marbles, whether you were cognizant of an entire camera crew in your vicinity or not. I don’t say “bye” to my dogs when I leave the house and then set an open jar of peanut butter on the other side of the door.
I realize this is a lot of food references for 9am, but I haven’t had breakfast yet and I’m really just having a time.
But honestly, this all seems like torture. Like a dating show sponsored by Joe Goldberg or Will Bettelheim or whatever his name is this week *NETFLIX REFERENCE*
OH.
And speaking of dogs —
Jessica’s super cute wine lover of a dog (seriously, what is everyone’s deal with this? SHE WAS 35 IN DOG YEARS)
JK I know you’re not supposed to give wine to dogs and so does she now so pls don’t attack us THANKS
Payton, had to have emergency surgery during this “experiment” and Jessica was told DURING THE OPERATION that her beloved best friend likely would not survive it.
If you think I’m crazy now, put me in this exact situation and I will go Alanis Morissette on absolutely everyone and everything in my path, and I am not even close to kidding.
Not that she did that and also I’m married, but you get it.
So I’m just saying that I could see how she would try out for the show after years upon years of miserable dating experiences and fully expect not to be selected (because who actually goes into any sort of audition and believes they clinched their spot). And then she gets chosen and thinks maybe it’s some sort of sign or would be a fun opportunity (WRONG). And then she gets there and new social situations are stressful and the reality of what’s happening sets in AND her dog has a near death experience and she’s a logical person probably berating herself with “what was I thinking even doing this in the first place???” and omg.
I don’t think Jessica had a clue at the time that her life would be digested so fastidiously by an entire population of people, and that every single one of them would have so many opinions about her and her body and her voice and her decisions and her lifestyle and Payton’s diet and WOW I’m exhausted already.
She’s just a girl with a cute puppy companion on the hunt for love in maybe the wrong soundstage in Atlanta. We’ve all been there. CUT HER SOME SLACK.
And can we talk about Mark for a second?
Mark was 24 at the time the show filmed. Do you remember what you were like at 24? By that age I’d had so many toxic/borderline abusive relationships under my belt because I straight up didn’t know any better. I had a weird childhood, and I thought everything I experienced was totally normal until I met the right person and learned better. (GOD BLESS YOU, JUSTIN.) Anyways, short of saying, “I have absolutely no interest in you,” Jessica was not giving the signs of someone that is into their relationship. I’m not saying that’s Mark’s fault. I ignored a lot of signs, too, and I wasn’t on an international TV show on a major streaming platform.
Yes, she was concerned about their age difference because she was older and can remember that time of her life relatively well. She’s trying to protect Mark’s glory years but somehow is punished by all of planet earth for being considerate.
Jessica and Mark had absolutely no business getting married! If your friend approached you and laid out this exact same scenario, unless they were legitimately, blissfully happy (and even then), you would probably think they had lost their minds. You can’t know someone in a month.
Even my 19 year old cousin who was drugged up on Percocet had this figured out when he commented halfway through the second episode “and they think gay people are ruining the sanctity of marriage.” HE AIN’T WRONG.
“Will you say ‘I do’ to the person you chose, sight unseen?”
“Or are you going to walk away from them forever?”
Why did they act like sticking together and continuing to date and be friends wasn’t an option? It’s like get hitched or get ditched.
And I get that this show is a mindf*** because at first, Barnett reminded me of every single guy I went to high school with — especially when I realized he’d been going by his last name the entire time 🙄(I’m from GA btw). I said, “honestly, they deserve each other” with such disgust when he initially chose Amber. But during the finale, I surprisingly found myself legitimately cheering when the two of them committed to marrying each other. CHEERING.
But when Jessica said she couldn’t marry Mark, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Not even to Mark, with whom she’d had multiple conversations about how they both weren’t ready. They had discussed that privately. But when she got down to the end of the aisle, Mark’s emotions got the best of him (and who could blame him because she looked STUNNING) and he said “I do” and, well, you know what happened.
USA TODAY
Can you imagine knowing that ahead of time and having to go through with planning such a life-altering event? The scene of Jessica in the bridal shop was very reminiscent of the “Sex and the City” episode where Carrie broke out into hives trying on wedding dresses.
She clearly was not ready.
The signs were all there.
But there was this public outrage.
“How could she do that to him?”
“But he’s so sweet!”
He is a toddler. No offense, Mark, but I have pairs of jeans from Target that are older than you.
Also, newsflash — you don’t have to date someone just because they’re nice to you, and you sure as hell aren’t obligated to marry them, I don’t care WHAT Nick and Vanessa Lachey have to say.
And furthermore *pushes glasses up on nose*
Why is it always the female’s fault? I respect Mark’s dedication to the process, but in reality — it was like a 35 day commitment. I’ve committed to leftovers in my fridge for longer than that (Mom, if you’re reading this, it was an accident! Calm down!).
My heart broke for Jessica when they kept showing her alone while Mark was being consoled by his mom. There was no good move. Marry someone you’re unsure about, or ditch them at the altar with a room full of guests and an entire camera crew. Fake a day you’ve likely dreamt about since you were a little girl and let it play out for the world to see only to be halfway in it, or do all of that and then bail at the 11th hour.
Everyone wants a happy ending, which is where I think most of the backlash stems from. But there was never going to be a right move on such a short timeline.
So no, I don’t think she’s a monster. I think she’s a smart, stable dog mom looking for the person who makes her (and Payton’s!) soul light up.
And I think you should give her a break. For real.
